Money

now

so much, so much, so much
how do i balance now against the rush of
true freedom,
if they are not ready for it
and i don’t want it until…

because I want them more than freedom
and i see how they do too
it’s their family, their friends, their life
they are the ones who will feel their blood
trickling down their face
instead of some money gone
if they prepared
their desperate fight fills me with hope
even though their fight is as useless as mine
but that is exactly what brings us so close
and i know their desire is the same as mine:
peace
a moment to lay in bed
a moment to kiss the girl they want
a moment to be and not worry, except about stupid shit
a moment of thoughtlessness,
this truth we hold to be self evident.

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Thursday, June 18th, 2009 Uncategorized 1 Comment

something old, unfinished

haven’t been in a mood to finish it lately, but why waste it on only me?

you say i’m not who you want for a boyfriend…
you’re not who i want for a woman!
you cut yourself
you make yourself throw up
you starve yourself because
you think you are too fat
you think i’ll make a bad impression
instead i give the good old boys some scotch
and i make better food than the women
you’re afraid that i only go to you when i’m unoccupied
you remember who broke it off
to be free in blighty when we were
i told you i wouldn’t let it stand in our way
you get drunk and tell me you were a slut
and don’t kiss me
after 13 years of you inside me
so fickle
sometimes stubborn
sometimes contradictory
hypocritical
sometimes so right
an asshole
(all just like me!)

and

you’ll go and play some crazy song
loud as you want
and sing along
boss me around
or dance free as you did
before you just couldn’t stop crying

i know enough to know you
i’m not trying to make you my prey
not trying to fuck and run
not going to leave again when you push me away like you’ve done
i know myself more than most (or you do)
i can bake and cook and clean
i stay woke
i’m getting some money, losing some pounds
smart enough to keep you interested and different enough to keep things fresh
i still have so much to learn
i’d make sure our children love their mother
i’d make sure pops knew that you’re in good hands
(Moms may not have the best ears but she hears me)
you owe me for letting me go
for all the vigils on the phone
i’ve seen the happiness in your eyes no lie
grind those teeth down until you need dentures old woman
i’ll cook your food as soft as you want
no one else has or will
or starve

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Friday, May 22nd, 2009 Uncategorized 1 Comment

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