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fresh

whiskey, breasts, beer, bukowski
how i love thee
the lamp on the path
to pizza crusts and frustration
to realization of true love and futility
thank fuck for mingus chanting love
driving me towards the hope of a moment of peace amidst it all
i saw that girl and it wasn’t just work that made her scowl
all sad when you look at them
from what some fucking asshole did years ago or
yesterday probably
but i can’t break all their legs,
sorry babe
i can’t pray to god to make it all go away
really the only pathetic thing i can say
is to listen to that saxophone or drum
let it wash over you like the rain
try to forget just like me
all the pain and knives
forget the police and the bracelets
forget the guilt
just have a drink
try to escape the loneliness made all the more real
by all these empty bodies
pretty, drunk, vapid,
fucking when i’m sitting here writing this

something old, unfinished

haven’t been in a mood to finish it lately, but why waste it on only me?

Tags: Money, Scotch

peaches at the TLA

Last night I went to see Peaches at the TLA. We missed whoever the opening act was and got there in time to have a drink or two before the peach got ready to rock.

She played a good blend of classics and some nice tracks off of the new album I Feel Cream. She was rock and roll, the band was a finely tuned machine of thighs, hair and puffy outfits. If I had some fun party favors and a female to cavort with I would have been in heaven. Peaches fucked us real hard and got us all wanting lots more!

youtube is being lame for me right now so i’ll post a peaches video later.

from a while ago

that day, driving as the sun rose, i felt something new. it was the feeling you get when you want to fight or run, but it was light instead of angry. my fight or flight turned into a big ball of sunshine, and it surprised the shit out of me. despite my times with other women and extensive drug use i’d never experienced a feeling like that in all my life. there were no chemicals used, no magic spells. being with you made my heart explode even though i didn’t know it could. to be honest i wish it hadn’t sometimes; the feelings stirred are occasionally overwhelming. how peculiar that such a thing can happen, the tides of my desires ebbing and flowing on the beaches of stability in my feeble brain.

i used to write to you more. now i write and save as a draft. wait a day. edit. save. simmer. revise, rewrite, delete. i see how fleeting my impulses can be. i see how i can get carried away by the ruminations of my lonely mind as it grasps for a little taste of you. all of these things are conversations with myself, which i didn’t fully realize until recently. the feeling from that morning is within me too. all my doubts are there, all my joy. the peace i feel sometimes and the tension of my love, it’s all in there. so why can i only feel so good when i’m with you?

Raekwon: Inside the Chef’s Kitchen

from Xclusives Zone