Archive for May, 2009

fresh

whiskey, breasts, beer, bukowski
how i love thee
the lamp on the path
to pizza crusts and frustration
to realization of true love and futility
thank fuck for mingus chanting love
driving me towards the hope of a moment of peace amidst it all
i saw that girl and it wasn’t just work that made her scowl
all sad when you look at them
from what some fucking asshole did years ago or
yesterday probably
but i can’t break all their legs,
sorry babe
i can’t pray to god to make it all go away
really the only pathetic thing i can say
is to listen to that saxophone or drum
let it wash over you like the rain
try to forget just like me
all the pain and knives
forget the police and the bracelets
forget the guilt
just have a drink
try to escape the loneliness made all the more real
by all these empty bodies
pretty, drunk, vapid,
fucking when i’m sitting here writing this

Sunday, May 31st, 2009 Uncategorized No Comments

something old, unfinished

haven’t been in a mood to finish it lately, but why waste it on only me?

you say i’m not who you want for a boyfriend…
you’re not who i want for a woman!
you cut yourself
you make yourself throw up
you starve yourself because
you think you are too fat
you think i’ll make a bad impression
instead i give the good old boys some scotch
and i make better food than the women
you’re afraid that i only go to you when i’m unoccupied
you remember who broke it off
to be free in blighty when we were
i told you i wouldn’t let it stand in our way
you get drunk and tell me you were a slut
and don’t kiss me
after 13 years of you inside me
so fickle
sometimes stubborn
sometimes contradictory
hypocritical
sometimes so right
an asshole
(all just like me!)

and

you’ll go and play some crazy song
loud as you want
and sing along
boss me around
or dance free as you did
before you just couldn’t stop crying

i know enough to know you
i’m not trying to make you my prey
not trying to fuck and run
not going to leave again when you push me away like you’ve done
i know myself more than most (or you do)
i can bake and cook and clean
i stay woke
i’m getting some money, losing some pounds
smart enough to keep you interested and different enough to keep things fresh
i still have so much to learn
i’d make sure our children love their mother
i’d make sure pops knew that you’re in good hands
(Moms may not have the best ears but she hears me)
you owe me for letting me go
for all the vigils on the phone
i’ve seen the happiness in your eyes no lie
grind those teeth down until you need dentures old woman
i’ll cook your food as soft as you want
no one else has or will
or starve

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Friday, May 22nd, 2009 Uncategorized 1 Comment

peaches at the TLA

Last night I went to see Peaches at the TLA. We missed whoever the opening act was and got there in time to have a drink or two before the peach got ready to rock.

She played a good blend of classics and some nice tracks off of the new album I Feel Cream. She was rock and roll, the band was a finely tuned machine of thighs, hair and puffy outfits. If I had some fun party favors and a female to cavort with I would have been in heaven. Peaches fucked us real hard and got us all wanting lots more!

youtube is being lame for me right now so i’ll post a peaches video later.

Saturday, May 16th, 2009 music 2 Comments

from a while ago

that day, driving as the sun rose, i felt something new. it was the feeling you get when you want to fight or run, but it was light instead of angry. my fight or flight turned into a big ball of sunshine, and it surprised the shit out of me. despite my times with other women and extensive drug use i’d never experienced a feeling like that in all my life. there were no chemicals used, no magic spells. being with you made my heart explode even though i didn’t know it could. to be honest i wish it hadn’t sometimes; the feelings stirred are occasionally overwhelming. how peculiar that such a thing can happen, the tides of my desires ebbing and flowing on the beaches of stability in my feeble brain.

i used to write to you more. now i write and save as a draft. wait a day. edit. save. simmer. revise, rewrite, delete. i see how fleeting my impulses can be. i see how i can get carried away by the ruminations of my lonely mind as it grasps for a little taste of you. all of these things are conversations with myself, which i didn’t fully realize until recently. the feeling from that morning is within me too. all my doubts are there, all my joy. the peace i feel sometimes and the tension of my love, it’s all in there. so why can i only feel so good when i’m with you?

Thursday, May 14th, 2009 random No Comments

Raekwon: Inside the Chef’s Kitchen

from Xclusives Zone

Thursday, May 14th, 2009 lolworthy No Comments

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